Thursday, April 19, 2012

The distance....

Love this for Avalyn!

I saw this on pinterest and I just love it.  Of course, none of my kids have my eyes, so I'm used to that.  But, they all have my heart, so I'm used to that, too.  What I'm not used to is the distance.  There are so many meanings to the word distance in an adoption.  There are the actual miles.  I don't know how many, I don't want to know.  There's the feeling of distance from us and her.  Sometimes it doesn't even feel real.  It feels like we're playing adoption like you would play house.  There are days like today, when I am wanting an update, a picture, some more forward movement in the process and it feels like the distance we've covered to get to this point has been just a teeny tiny step in the overall journey.  Sometimes, the distance we have yet to cover seems endless and unattainable.  Then I wonder about when we have her and she's in our arms, the distance she'll feel...the sadness...another loss...another place..different everything.  When she mourns, will she feel that distance from her "before us" home?  Someday will she understand the distance we came (miles, paperwork, waiting...) to get her?  I'm so ready to close the distance, shorten the gap, get her home.

You know, we are adopted into God's family, right?  He did a great deal more than just paperwork and waiting.  He sent His only son to die on the cross so that we could be His children and so that sin could no longer separate us.  Amazing love!  In having children, I understood the depth of God's love for us.  In adopting, I understand the sacrifice--the distance that God went to to make us His children.  Distance can be a beautiful thing sometimes! 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Alright, flag on the play!

Well, I mentioned in my first post that I wouldn't always talk adoption.  This is one of those posts. 

I got a letter in the mail today.  It came with a donation but it was hard to read.  Scores have been kept, but the scorekeeper was wrong.  I believe this person thought that what was written was what needed to be said, but it only served to hurt me and it just wasn't fair.  It was a lecture, so to speak, and some undercurrents of us not being there for certain events.  I want to fight back, set the record straight, prove that the score was wrong, call and remind who's been where for what and who hasn't.  Flag on the play!!!  

So I struggle with my flesh, again.  So humbling how much I struggle....  How come I can watch God miraculously provide the money for our first BIG bill and then turn around and struggle with my emotions so much? 

James 1:19-20

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  

Made our goal!!!!

Wow and Phew!!!!  Don't ask how much else we owe...I just want to bask in this for a moment. :)

There is a verse that has become very dear to me as so many people have supported us.  We have been blessed beyond measure and the gift of seeing the body of Christ function as a body has been priceless. Honestly, I have never seen it before.  There are people who acted as my voice, my feet, my mind, my hands....people who have donated, prayed, given their time to help us.  The list goes on.  It's a beautiful picture. 

I wish I could tell you all the stories....someday I will, while we wait. 

There is a quote that many people have used in talking about adoption.  "I could've almost missed this."  I'm not sure if it was Mary Beth or Steven Curtis Chapman--I'll look it up one of these days.  I feel that way now and she's not even home.  I could've missed the blessing of having to trust God for every penny of this bill.  I could've missed seeing the hearts of people who felt led to help us.  I could've missed it---all of it. 

I know I'll still doubt.  There's a really long road ahead of us yet, and I know I'll grow weary again and again but at least I won't miss it....

Galatians 6:9-10

9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.  

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Yep....updating in the same day

I just got back from my mailbox----only $275 to go!!!!  I'm just sayin'.

$720 to go....

Well, we're on hold until all the money is in.  You start thinking things like, "Do we really need"  Yeah, I guess we we wait.

I still know that God's got it and there is a plan in the delay but I want to move forward NOW.  Today's one of those days where the wait is long and hard.   I'm relying on God's strength, God's wisdom. 

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with the wings as eagles; and they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Preparing for rain...

Well, I have a few minutes to sit down and post a little update.  I've got bread in the oven so while it's baking I'll write.  The bread thing is a whole other post for another day...

When we got our big bill, Kyle and I bought 2 packs of Thank You cards.  We were "preparing for rain".  I really had no idea that we would use any of them.  Well, we've gone through our first pack of 50 and had to bust open the pack of 25.  Wow!  I wish somehow Avalyn could know and understand what this means right now.  She is loved!

I just sent our agency a check for $5000!  We are only $1250 short of the first big bill.  So, we're getting there. 

We did really well at the garage sale.  I'm really not sure how.  There was nothing really valuable and the prices were cheap.  People bartered up, though!  A sweet friend of mine paid a huge chunk for Stampin' Up stamps and someone else for some toys.  There was one man that came and would ask me how much?  I would say, "Five dollars."  He would say, "I'll give you 10."   Kyle said that I needed to be fired from my garage sale job.  He was jokin' with me but he's right.  I'm a horrible salesperson.  It's a good thing God likes to use us where we're weak, right?

The Friday before the garage sale, I met a friend of mine from our homeschool group at the church where we had the garage sale.  She had some donations for us to sell.  I had Cailey, my 11 year-old with me and after we took the donations, we went back inside to organize the clothes and things.  I needed to run back out to the car real quick and when I got there I found a card on my windshield.  Inside was a check for a large amount of money---about 1/6 of the amount that is due right now!  I just stood by my car and cried.  There were circumstances that should've kept her family from giving money---at all.  I was so humbled and touched. 

We added up our money several times on Sunday.  We had a total of $4450.  We both checked that amount.  I've mentioned my teensiest tiniest bit of OCD.  Umm...yeah, let's just say, I checked it more than once. ;)  On Monday, we had donations of $360.  I was filling out the deposit slip on Monday and we had more!  Given, we put in some more from us (it's going to be a beans and rice kinda month!) but there's still about $100 that I just can't figure out.  God's math...

Well, the bread's been baked for awhile now and it needs to be sliced and eaten.