Thursday, April 19, 2012

The distance....

Love this for Avalyn!

I saw this on pinterest and I just love it.  Of course, none of my kids have my eyes, so I'm used to that.  But, they all have my heart, so I'm used to that, too.  What I'm not used to is the distance.  There are so many meanings to the word distance in an adoption.  There are the actual miles.  I don't know how many, I don't want to know.  There's the feeling of distance from us and her.  Sometimes it doesn't even feel real.  It feels like we're playing adoption like you would play house.  There are days like today, when I am wanting an update, a picture, some more forward movement in the process and it feels like the distance we've covered to get to this point has been just a teeny tiny step in the overall journey.  Sometimes, the distance we have yet to cover seems endless and unattainable.  Then I wonder about when we have her and she's in our arms, the distance she'll feel...the sadness...another loss...another place..different everything.  When she mourns, will she feel that distance from her "before us" home?  Someday will she understand the distance we came (miles, paperwork, waiting...) to get her?  I'm so ready to close the distance, shorten the gap, get her home.

You know, we are adopted into God's family, right?  He did a great deal more than just paperwork and waiting.  He sent His only son to die on the cross so that we could be His children and so that sin could no longer separate us.  Amazing love!  In having children, I understood the depth of God's love for us.  In adopting, I understand the sacrifice--the distance that God went to to make us His children.  Distance can be a beautiful thing sometimes! 

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