Friday, May 25, 2012

My moms

It was August 18, 1986 when my church pastor came to door of the house I was spending the night at.  I was 14, a few months shy of 15.  The news he brought shook my world to the core. 

My mom had died. 

A few short days before that, though, she had shared Romans 8:28 with me.  It says that All things work for the good of those that love Him and have been called according to His purpose.  Now, I'm not about to pretend that I didn't feel sadness and a sense of deep, deep loss.  I was devastated but I knew that God had a purpose in it and that He was with me.  In the midst of sadness, I had peace.  An incredible peace.  A peace that I can't even explain.  Perfect peace.  I don't know if my mom knew that she was going to die or if God just led her to that verse for me, but it carried me through that time and I still rely heavily on it.  I also still don't know the purpose, but I don't need to know.

Several years later, my dad met a lady.  Her daughter, Heather, and I wanted them to get married.  We both wanted needed a sister.  Well, not because we desperately wanted them to, but because they loved each other, they did get married.  God gave me another mom---my Cindymom.  I was almost 18 when they got married and while I was never legally adopted, I'm very much one of hers all the same.  She was the beginning spark in my desire to adopt.  To long for a mom and then have that place filled while still allowing me to love my first mom is an incredible gift.  She gave me that gift with grace. 

On August 25, 2010 my dad went on to be with Jesus.  It was so hard but so beautiful all at once.  Hard for the obvious reasons, but beautiful because we were a family together missing him, crying together, praying together.  My Cindymom took us all out to Cracker Barrel for lunch after his funeral (Dad's favorite restaurant) and Heather, Jamie (family friend), and I all bought Cindymom a Willow Tree figure.  She's holding the American flag and mourning.  My dad had fought in 3 wars and had a military funeral so this was one of the most meaningful gifts I've ever seen.  It made her cry.

The week before Mother's Day, Cindymom sent me a gift.  A Willow Tree figure that represents our adoption.  Talk about meaningful.  It made me cry.

1 comment:

  1. I read this awhile back but didn't have time that day to comment. I remember when your mom went to Heaven. I remember hearing the news and how sick I felt. I remember the first time we tried to make coffee for your dad and grandpa (a job your mom used to do)...remember that mess?? :) I remember my mom wanting to take you under her wing. Do you remember the trip you took with us to Ruidoso? I remember the night your dad proposed to Cindy and how we were babysitting, and we screamed when we heard the news. I remember, I remember.... Where in the world did all the years go?? Looks like God was preparing you for Avalyn all the way back then. Amazing really. He turns mourning into joy.